Hola ja päivää! Mitäs te? Mie tässä juon Megaforcea (nams <3) ja vahiskelen Runttia, ku systeri meni kaverinsa synttäreille Kuopion Hoploppiin ja porukat meni kattoon enoo sairaalaan.
No, mut nyt kun mulla on tässä tylsää, aattelin et voisin lisätä tähän pari pätkää mitä oon ite kirjotellu. Muutamat on sellasia mitä oon laittanu aikasemmi, mut muistin virkistykses nääs.
--
Sä ootko löytänyt itsesi
Oikean, jonka tunnet olevasi
Sen jonka muille näyttää pelkäät
Koska liikaa niiden mielipiteistä välität
Sä kierteletkö väliä maailman
Et tiedä minne mennä
Oot jumittunut tänne turhaan
Yksin et oo kuitenkaan
Miksi olet sä täällä, etkö elämää halua?
Sä etkö ymmärrä
Et selviä itkemällä
Se mitä näät on sussa itsessä
Sä istutko yksin nurkassa
Hiljaisessa ja pimeässä
Et pois tulla uskalla
Sillä pelkäät niiden sulle nauravan
Sä makaatko yöllä valveilla
Et unta saa
Äänet ei sua valvota
Vaan ajatukset kipeät ja kaukaiset
Miksi olet sä yksin, etkö rakkautta halua?
Sä etkö näe sitä
Et selviä veitsenterällä
Se mitä oot täytyy sun itse löytää
--
alas
vaivun alaspäin
minut valtaa painovoima,
jalkojesi juureen painaa
alas
ja solmut avaan
jotka tasapainoani tukee,
koossa pitää mua
pysy ei mikään
liidän, kiidän
halki tuulten maiden
en
enää elä en
jos valheen painoa
mä joudun raahaamaan
ja petoksen
silloin kaadun taas
ja sortuu maailmani,
lasikupu suojanani taas
vajoan veteen
virta vie mua
kohti tuulten maita
hetken lennokkuus, hypyn kantavuus
halki tyhjän avaruuden
tulet, lähdet taas, ja valo katoaa
mereen vuosien häviää
hetken lennokkuus, laulun kantavuus
halki tyhjän avaruuden
valo katoaa,
tulet, lähdet taas
mereen vuosien katoaa
(alkuperäinen biisi Caic - Gerard Quintana)
--
luottaa voit
oon sulle vastamyrkky
siihen minkä joit
ja kohtalosi taikaa
minä pisaroin
ja autan sinut jälleen jaloille
takaisin
kun tulen
niin sä huomaat mitä unhoitit
kun etäämmälle
minut luotas karkoitit
valonasi loistan
kun on pimeää
maailmain sä saat
mun pienen avaruuden, tunteen maat
saat onneni
ja innostuksen kaikkineen
elon rytmin intohimoineen
sen kaiken saat
(alkuperäinen biisi Compta amb mi - Dept.)
--
i hate feeling like this
i hate being like this
i'm so tired of trying to fight this
i'm so tired of being like this
this is not the real me
no, not the person who i really am
if i only could tell the world
tell them how i really feel
tell them who i really am
because i'm not like this
this is too wrong
i can't belong
not like this
i'm not me, i cannot be
this is wrong, i am wrong
i'm so wrong like this
as wrong as wrong could be
no one knows how i feel
they wouldn't understand me
i know things aren't so hard
but they don't seem to be
easy at all like i thought
--
i just don't know what to do with myself
i feel wrong, like i don't belong
like my body is a cage
i don't belong to this world
not like this
this is not the real me
this is wrong
i don't want to be like this
i don't feel right at all
i feel too wrong
can i keep going on like this?
--
There you go
You smile so happily
Walk so carefree
Don't think about anything
But don't you know
The mistakes you make
How they make me feel
I see you everyday
You walk by
I try to say hi
But I just can't get a word out of my mouth
But don't you know
Just how much I wanna say it to you
How you make me feel
Sometimes I know
That you know I'm there
Sometimes I feel
Like you don't feel me exist
But don't you know
The feeling you give
I know you feel it too
--
äänetöntä itkua
sanatonta avunpyyntöä
etkö näe kuinka kukka kuihtuu
hiljalleen
oli aikamme kaunis
olit kuin taivaan lahja
mutta petti altamme hauras silta
putosimme unohdukseen
se oli liian hyvää ollakseen totta
voisinpa sinut jo unohtaa
se turhaa on kun en kuitenkaan
siihen pystykään
olen sidottu kiinni sieluusi.
--
keho kuin lasia
iho kuin lunta
hiukset kuin silkkiä
mikä sinä olet?
keho kuin puuta
iho kuin puuteria
hiukset kuin tuulta
mikä mikä olen?
kuka meidät loi
ja miksi loi
onko meillä tarkoitus?
saattaa maailmaan rauha
olen liian heikko
olet liian heikko
lasinen kehosi pirstoutuu
hyvästi.
--
With these hands broken down again
I couldn't keep up, can't fight against
Can't I fix this? I need to fix this
It's hurting, it's breaking, it breaks me
In my painful dead hands lies a secret
I can't keep it, can't resist anymore
Can't you fix it? I have to fix it
It's blurring, it's aching, why is it taking me away
Why is this happening?
--
I never thought I'd become like this
So am I being what I've always hated
You've become what I hate, I am what I hate
You can't see right through me
My dead eyes, cold heart
I am become death
--
There you go, I see you again
I thought I'd already gotten over you
I disappoint myself by taking my breath away
Always my thoughts run to you
They won't listen to me
Am I not good enough
--
Woke up this morning
Felt that feeling crawling in my skin
I knew then what it all was
Definitely not supposed to heal my injuries
Drowned in the sea of loneliness
When I stepped through this door
All the things in my head
Disappeared without any warnings
I was left all alone
They left me, they hate me
I really don't mind what all this is about
But please come back to me
I can't survive without you
My heart is unstable
It's withering, I can feel it
So close, so painful
Why am I feeling like this?
Something is running right through
Like a shining, sharp blade
Cutting through my lonely heart
I can't breathe anymore
I can no longer wait
--
I am dead
Don't feel like trying anymore
I don't want you
You just hate me
You are alive
Don't do anything but try
You want me
I just hate you
She is dead
Doesn't feel like trying anymore
She doesn't want him
He just hates her
He is alive
Doesn't do anything but try
He wants her
She just hates him
We are dead now
Can't try anymore
Don't want anything
We hate everything
--
Even if I could
Would it be right?
To dance on the air
While you lay dead on me
Even if you would
It would be wrong
Fighting for all the words
You said but didn't keep
Even if he knew
Would he do it?
He cries all the night
And nobody's there
Even if she tried
Could she success?
Be the person she is
And not what she wants to be
Even if we'd make it
The feelings would be dead
Nothing in here anymore
That would make us alright
--
I see them looking at me
Like they usually do
Like I'm a mistake
Just because I exist
I feel there's nothing left
Nothing good left for me
Not like there should be
I'm just a big mistake
You don't need to pretend that you care
Lips say yes but eyes say no
I don't feel like I'm home
No, you don't need to act like you love me
I know you don't
Why did this happen?
What did I do?
Maybe I don't do anything right
You don't know how shame loves me
I never knew how things would go
My friends hate me
Everyone hates me
Even the ones I love
I'm just not so perfect
I'm not good enough for them
I'm nothing but a lost cause
A nightmare
She said she cares
How can I lay my trust onto something like that?
He looks at me
With the eyes with the look I can't seem to understand
I'm holding only onto him
Please, I don't wanna let go
No, they're not sorry
Not caring at all
My feelings can never be understood
I'm counting my steps but they won't carry me through this
I feel like a prisoner trapped inside this lie once called life
--
I see her again, there she goes
She passes by me, my heart skips a beat
I bump into her, she seems to be so soft and warm
Unlike me, I'm so cold
With these feelings I live next to her
She doesn't know, she could never understand
Within two days I miss her so
I just wish I could tell her how I feel
In my dreams, I lay onto her
It's all that I do
I can't act like normal when I'm with her
She's all that I see
I see her, she passes by me again
I try to look in her eyes and try to understand
All I see is a feeling I don't understand
I have no doubt that she thinks I'm a complete idiot
Maybe I am.
--
I feel it cold
I feel it warm
Depending how I feel at the moment
It's coming down with no doubt
I open my umbrella, close the door
I can hear the rain dripping
Floating onto the little pounds
It's never sad, never happy
It's everything I see now
Dark, light, hard, soft
Raining over me
I feel like I'm safe now
--
Listen to this voice
Do you hear
I'm calling you
Come back here
You'll never be alone
I'm here
I'm listening
You just need to tell me
Tell me how you feel
Tell me why you're sad
Why anything doesn't work
And why you need me
Are you there
I'm screaming for you
Why aren't you coming
Can't you hear
I'm alone here now
You're gone
Somewhere else
You didn't come when I called you
You didn't tell me why you're going
You didn't tell me how you feel
Nothing worked
You didn't need me
--
Ääni kuule tää
Sä kuuletko
Mä kutsun sua
Tule tänne takaisin
Et oo yksin enää koskaan
Mä olen täällä
Mä kuuntelen
Sun tarvii vaan kertoo mulle
Kerro mulle milt sust tuntuu
Kerro mulle miks oot surullinen
Miksei mikää onnistu
Ja miks tarviit mua
Ootko siellä
Mä huudan sulle
Mikset sä tuu
Etkö sä kuule
Mä oon yksin täällä nyt
Sä oot poissa
Jossain muualla
Et tullu ku kutsuin sua
Et kertonu mulle miks meet
Et kertonu mulle milt sust tuntuu
Mikää ei onnistunu
Et tarvinnu mua
--
Kaduilla kävelen
vailla päämäärää
Vaellan, ohi tuhansien
nostokurkien
Tuuli puhaltaa
ulkona alkaa olla kylmä
Silti, edelleen vaellan
etsien paikkaa, jossa olla
Katseeni kohotan,
edessäni seisoo joku
Hän katsoo minua,
katse säälivä on
Minua paleltaa
hiljalleen kylmetyn kuoliaaksi
Tuo joku tarttuu kädestäni
ja vie minut jonnekin
Jossa onnellinen olla voin
tunnen, enää kylmety en
Mielessäni kummittelevat
ne tuhannet nostokurjet
Ne tämän paikan tuhoavat
ei meille mitään jää
Vain hiekkaa ja talojen
raunioita
Me hiljalleen häviämme
ajan pyörteeseen katoamme
Kukaan ei meitä löydä
me olemme ikuisessa unessa
Siitä unesta
emme herää koskaan
--
She was always there
Like I was and still am
But she won't see me
She doesn't notice
What did I ever do
To make her go away
To make her forget me
Forget all about our memories
They say she's gone forever
That I should let go
And forget too
But I don't get it
What did I ever do
To make her leave me
All alone in this world
To turn it all into a nightmare
If I go by
She doesn't even say hi
She doesn't say anything
Just turns around and leaves
What did I ever do
To make her be like this
To treat me like I don't exist
Treat me like a murderer
--
You stole her from me
You took her away
She won't remember
Why I was there for her
We were together
We were happy
But then you came
I didn't see her again
I miss her
You took her away
She doesn't remember
Why I was there for her
I remember how we talked
We rode together
To the sunset
Thought we'd be happy forever
She's not here
You took her away
She doesn't remember
Why I was there for her
But I think now
It's my time to let it all go
Forget you
Forget she ever was there
We're not meant to be
The world took her away
She won't ever know
Why I'm not there for her now
--
I know why you're here
So why do I miss you
It's like you're so far away
Even though you're there
I feel tears rolling down
I can't help it
I feel myself so pathetic, so stupid
Why am I doing this
I wonder if you know
How much I love you
So why don't you believe me
When I say I didn't do it
Don't accuse me for things
I didn't even do
I just want to feel your love
Like I've always wanted
When all the memories are gone
I swear I'll never forget you
It'll be tough
But I just want you to know
I love you so much
And I still miss you
No matter how close you are
--
Kuin enkelin kyyneleet
kuolleet, kylmät posket
Ihan niin kuin ei kehoa, sydäntä lainkaan
vihakin silmistä jo kuvastuu
Silmistä, joissa ei ole edes katsetta
lupasin itselleni, että etsin ja tapan
Sen manaajan
joka riisti enkelini elämän
Tiedäthän maan, jota ei ole
olemassakaan?
Me olemme nyt matkalla sitä kohti
voin maistaa huulesi hunajaiset
Kuinka tunnen vihollisen maun niissä?
''Loputonta tuskaa'', tiuskaisen ja
tönäisen sinua
Silmiini kihoaa kyyneleitä
kuinka saatoit tehdä minulle näin?
Kuin noppa, tunteeni ailahtelevat
nyt jo intohimoisesti sinua suutelen
''Koittaisit jo päättää'', naurat ja
leikit hiuksillani
Se kaikki ohi jo on
pakotan itseni nykyaikaan palaamaan
Aikaan, jossa sinä olet mennyttä
rakkaus on sokeaa
Vihaan kaikkia
suren kuollutta sielua
Olen idiootti
nauran ja nauran
Nauran kun minua ei enää ole
olen onnellinen.
No, eiköhän noi nyt riitä....
xx Roni
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